On Palm Sunday, one year ago, my wife Jenna went into early labor and began hemorrhaging. She almost died. Our twin sons, Ezra and Leo, were born late that night, too little and too weak to survive. They died. I never made it to church that Sunday. But I want to share with you the sermon I would have preached that morning. It’s a sermon about a hospital room, about facing pain and death, and when I wrote it, I had no idea that I would spend that very day in a hospital room, facing pain and death. In the quiet of my grief, I returned to this sermon and found God speaking to me—in words I never knew were intended for me.
I share them with you now.
Read More “A Good Death” – A Palm Sunday Sermon
This Advent, as Jenna and I remember the children we lost and dare dream of the Child to come, we are excited to announce that our own manger may one day be full. We have started the adoption process!
Read More An Advent Announcement: We’re Adopting!
In my job, as I support the families of organ donors, I bear witness to the pain of indescribable human suffering every day. Where is God when the suffering of this life feels so senseless? Where was God when my own sons died?
Read More Finding Comfort in the Senselessness of Suffering
Even in the face of death, it is easy to lose perspective and forget the miraculous wonder of everyday life. Rediscover this with me as I explore the tension of grief and gratitude that I have felt on this journey.
Read More Grief and Gratitude
Reaching out from the depths of her darkness, another mother looked to me in that moment to guide her toward the light.
I answered her as honestly as I could, “Only with a lot of support.”
Read More A Mother Reaching Out to Other Mothers
“I choose to live again.”
Grief can often feel like a thunderstorm raging within you – a battle between the pains of the past and the fears of the future. The cure is mindfulness – finding little ways of reconnecting to the present moment and choosing to live again. Learn some of these techniques here.
Read More Mindfulness for Grief
Too often, fathers and families are forgotten victims in the aftermath of stillbirth.
In this post, I honor the grief of these forgotten fathers and families – of Patrick, our parents, our sisters, and their husbands – and I share four simple, magical words that can help you to remember their pain and their love too.
Read More Forgotten Fathers and Families
“You have lost enough already; don’t lose your marriage.”
What love can possibly survive the pain of miscarriage and stillbirth? As Patrick and I celebrate our anniversary this year, I know now that our love is stronger than our pain, for our love is stronger than death itself.
Read More A Marriage Surviving Stillbirth
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
You are brave when you have to be. When faced with their child trapped under a car, mothers have been known to summon a superhuman strength to lift the car off of them. After a lifetime of squeamishness, I walked through hell for my children. And now, I will never doubt my strength as a woman again.
Read More Summoning Superhuman Strength
Grief is lonely.
It is like a shadowy darkness that overcomes you, as you stare Death in the face. The ancients called this desolate place the “Valley of the Shadow of Death.”
Journey with me through this lonesome valley, where even from the depths this week I was able to find joy, friendship, and God.
Read More The Loneliness of Grief