When Day Becomes Night

On August 21st, the day we had dreamed would be our baby boys’ birthday, the cosmos itself will grieve with us. On that day, a total solar eclipse will cross the entire country for the first time in 99 years. The sun will blacken, the crickets will chirp, and for a brief moment the bright daytime sky will become as dark as night.

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“Why don’t you just adopt?”

You are parents without children and there are children in the world without parents; problem solved.

This is one of the most daunting questions that someone who is enduring infertility faces.

Adoption is beautiful. As the sister of a birth mother, I know this more intimately than most. However, adoption is also complicated and it is not a cure. There is no JUST about adoption.

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Forgotten Fathers and Families

Too often, fathers and families are forgotten victims in the aftermath of stillbirth.

In this post, I honor the grief of these forgotten fathers and families – of Patrick, our parents, our sisters, and their husbands – and I share four simple, magical words that can help you to remember their pain and their love too.

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Summoning Superhuman Strength

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

You are brave when you have to be. When faced with their child trapped under a car, mothers have been known to summon a superhuman strength to lift the car off of them. After a lifetime of squeamishness, I walked through hell for my children. And now, I will never doubt my strength as a woman again.

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The Loneliness of Grief

Grief is lonely.

It is like a shadowy darkness that overcomes you, as you stare Death in the face. The ancients called this desolate place the “Valley of the Shadow of Death.”

Journey with me through this lonesome valley, where even from the depths this week I was able to find joy, friendship, and God.

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