The Mourner’s Bill of Rights

Anyone in the midst of grief is empowered with certain rights – the Mourner’s Bill of Rights. Stand in that power, fellow traveler, and let no one take them from you.

Tips for Impatient Sympathy

There is limited patience for people in pain. As the pain lingers, we grow tired and our sympathy grows impatient. Here are some tips to better help those who are hurting over time.

Watch Out for Invisible Gorillas

Babies should come with TRIGGER warnings. How can our pain be so life-consuming for us, yet so invisible to others?

How does a pastor grieve?

“How does a pastor grieve?”

Patrick dares to ask this profound question as he wrestles with God’s absence in this article. Originally published as a column in Auburn’s local newspaper, “The Citizen.”

“Life is Beautiful” – A Sermon for Stillbirth

On his first Sunday back at the church after the death of our sons, Patrick had to preach again for the first time. Courageously, Patrick chose to name his heartache aloud and to vulnerably share his grief with the congregation, thus robbing the pain of some of its power. This is his brave sermon, entitled “Life is Beautiful.”

How Not to Say the Wrong Thing

“An odd byproduct of my loss is that I’m aware of being an embarrassment to everyone I meet. At work, at the club, in the street, I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they’ll ‘say something about it’ or not. I hate it if they do, and if they don’t.”

– C.S. Lewis

Mother’s Day Was Made For Mourning Mothers

Mother’s Day was once a day of peace and reconciliation born out of the pain of death, disease, and war. Its roots are based in mourning, in grief, and in pain. Like a flower, so often given as a cliched Mother’s Day gift, this day stands as a bright beacon of hope rising out the mud.

A Childless Mother on Mother’s Day

There is a word to describe parentless children – orphans. A word for wives without husbands – widows. And for husbands without wives – widowers. Yet, there is no word that captures the reality and pain of a childless mother.

Our Journey To Now (Part 3)

We never named these babies. Perhaps it is even controversial to call them babies. Yet, this Mother’s Day, I remember them too .

Our Journey To Now (Part 2)

It may be surprising to some, but for me, the grief after the loss of our second pregnancy – even though it only lasted 5 ½ weeks, even though it was for a baby we never knew, never saw, and never named – hit me the hardest, and so far even harder than the stillbirth of our sons.