Finding Comfort in the Senselessness of Suffering

In my job, as I support the families of organ donors, I bear witness to the pain of indescribable human suffering every day. Where is God when the suffering of this life feels so senseless? Where was God when my own sons died?

The Upside Down, Alternate Reality of Grief

The world of grief feels like a parallel universe, an Upside Down underworld that one must journey through to reach “Acceptance.” But is Acceptance truly accepted in the Land of the Living? Or is there another place where both darkness and light, both pain and peace can live together?

Grief and Gratitude

Even in the face of death, it is easy to lose perspective and forget the miraculous wonder of everyday life. Rediscover this with me as I explore the tension of grief and gratitude that I have felt on this journey.

A Pastoral Response to Charlottesville

“A Pastoral Response to Charlottesville” – Our children will light our way through this eclipse

A letter to the congregation of Westminster Presbyterian Church, Auburn, NY,
from Rev. Patrick David Heery

A Mother Reaching Out to Other Mothers

Reaching out from the depths of her darkness, another mother looked to me in that moment to guide her toward the light.

I answered her as honestly as I could, “Only with a lot of support.”

When Day Becomes Night

On August 21st, the day we had dreamed would be our baby boys’ birthday, the cosmos itself will grieve with us. On that day, a total solar eclipse will cross the entire country for the first time in 99 years. The sun will blacken, the crickets will chirp, and for a brief moment the bright daytime sky will become as dark as night.

“Why don’t you just adopt?”

You are parents without children and there are children in the world without parents; problem solved.

This is one of the most daunting questions that someone who is enduring infertility faces.

Adoption is beautiful. As the sister of a birth mother, I know this more intimately than most. However, adoption is also complicated and it is not a cure. There is no JUST about adoption.

A Griever’s Guide to “Harry Potter”

Reading “Harry Potter” through the lens of grief for the first time has opened my eyes to this story’s powerfully intimate portrayal of death, depression, and pain.

Mindfulness for Grief

“I choose to live again.”

Grief can often feel like a thunderstorm raging within you – a battle between the pains of the past and the fears of the future. The cure is mindfulness – finding little ways of reconnecting to the present moment and choosing to live again. Learn some of these techniques here.

Forgotten Fathers and Families

Too often, fathers and families are forgotten victims in the aftermath of stillbirth.

In this post, I honor the grief of these forgotten fathers and families – of Patrick, our parents, our sisters, and their husbands – and I share four simple, magical words that can help you to remember their pain and their love too.