Forgotten Fathers and Families

Too often, fathers and families are forgotten victims in the aftermath of stillbirth.

In this post, I honor the grief of these forgotten fathers and families – of Patrick, our parents, our sisters, and their husbands – and I share four simple, magical words that can help you to remember their pain and their love too.

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“All is Riddle”

While we were holding our sons in the hospital, before saying our final goodbyes, Patrick read a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson to them, entitled “Threnody.” Emerson wrote this poem after his own son died.

This poem serves as a centerpiece in the final sermon of a 4-part sermon series that Patrick preached on Abraham’s near-sacrifice of his son, Isaac.

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Summoning Superhuman Strength

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

You are brave when you have to be. When faced with their child trapped under a car, mothers have been known to summon a superhuman strength to lift the car off of them. After a lifetime of squeamishness, I walked through hell for my children. And now, I will never doubt my strength as a woman again.

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The Loneliness of Grief

Grief is lonely.

It is like a shadowy darkness that overcomes you, as you stare Death in the face. The ancients called this desolate place the “Valley of the Shadow of Death.”

Journey with me through this lonesome valley, where even from the depths this week I was able to find joy, friendship, and God.

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“A Father’s Sacrifice”

“A sermon from a grieving father on Father’s Day”

On this Father’s Day, Patrick dares to face one of the most terrifying stories of the Bible: the attempted sacrifice of Abraham’s son Isaac.

This marks Patrick’s first Father’s Day since the stillbirth of our sons. And as a grieving father, in this sermon, Patrick peers through the eyes of another father who must face the prospect of losing his son.

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Going Off-Script

Today we go off-script. How do we answer seemingly simple questions that have impossible answers? Questions like,

How have you been?

or worse…

How many children do you have?

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Survival Songs

Music can touch depths of our soul where nothing else can quite reach. Music can capture the words that our spirits long to say but cannot always find.

These are my survival songs.

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How to save your life in a hospital

After coming so close to losing my own life, I have been on a mission to keep others from experiencing the same fate. Here are some tips – some found through research and others inspired by my own experiences – for how to save your life in a hospital. I hope that you may never need it, but if you ever do, may these tidbits help you survive. 

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