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The Purpose of This Blog

On Sunday, April 9, 2017, our twin boys, Ezra Lee and Leo Allen, died. They were born stillborn, just a day shy of 21 weeks. Any stillbirth is tragic. Yet, this loss was particularly painful, because this was supposed to be our double rainbow, the much awaited and longed for babies after we had already endured four early miscarriages within two years. Now, we are simply trying to put one foot in front of the other.

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When Day Becomes Night

On August 21st, the day we had dreamed would be our baby boys’ birthday, the cosmos itself will grieve with us. On that day, a total solar eclipse will cross the entire country for the first time in 99 years. The sun will blacken, the crickets will chirp, and for a brief moment the bright daytime sky will become as dark as night.

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“Why don’t you just adopt?”

You are parents without children and there are children in the world without parents; problem solved.

This is one of the most daunting questions that someone who is enduring infertility faces.

Adoption is beautiful. As the sister of a birth mother, I know this more intimately than most. However, adoption is also complicated and it is not a cure. There is no JUST about adoption.

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Mindfulness for Grief

“I choose to live again.”

Grief can often feel like a thunderstorm raging within you – a battle between the pains of the past and the fears of the future. The cure is mindfulness – finding little ways of reconnecting to the present moment and choosing to live again. Learn some of these techniques here.

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Forgotten Fathers and Families

Too often, fathers and families are forgotten victims in the aftermath of stillbirth.

In this post, I honor the grief of these forgotten fathers and families – of Patrick, our parents, our sisters, and their husbands – and I share four simple, magical words that can help you to remember their pain and their love too.

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